34 Witty Memes for the Bickering, Nagging Old Married Couples (June 13, 2024)

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  • 01
    IF YOUR GIRL IS HAVING A BAD DAY, mb narriagebliss.com SURPRISE.... SO ARE YOU!!
  • 02
    Josh Hara @yoyoha Follow Marriage is like coffee. First it's really hot. Then it's just right. Then it helps you get off your 8:01 PM 10 Feb 2016 - and do things. h 182 367
  • 03
    I will look at you like this while you're talking and still not hear a word you said mb marriagebliss.com
  • 04
    Nice Eric @ericsshadow THERAPIST: what's the problem? Follow WIFE: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise 11:23 PM 23 May 2016 h 218 436
  • 05
    My wife 4 hours after telling me she was running in to the mall for "one thing" mb marriagebliss.com
  • 06
    Max Dylan Ash @mynameisntdave ME: honey, it's really muggy out today ✔ Follow WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u ME: *sips coffee from bowl* 8:15 PM 15 Jun 2015 13,324 21,593
  • 07
    Do all men fall asleep 2 mins after closing their eyes? mb marriagebliss.com Or is mine just faking it so he doesn't have to keep talking to me?
  • 08
    Josh @iwearaonesie My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless. Follow It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth 11:18 PM 10 Oct 2014 h 1,440 2,260
  • 09
    GIRLS LOVE TO SAY "GET OFF YOUR PHONE" AFTER THEY'VE BEEN ON THEIRS FOR AN HOUR BUT NOW WANT YOUR ATTENTION mb narriagebliss.com
  • 10
    Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22 Follow When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" People always clap when she wakes up. 5:32 AM 18 Aug 2015 h 1,459 2,325
  • 11
    Strict diet for 2 years then ate one donut. mb marriagebliss.com
  • 12
    Josh @iwearaonesie Follow Before I got married I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge 8:41 PM 10 Jun 2015 h 1,890 3,013
  • 13
    When I realize I overreacted and was being a drama queen, but it's already too late so I gotta hold my ground mb marriagebliss.com
  • 14
    Boyd's Backyard™M @TheBoydP Follow I love when I leave work early to surprise my wife at home and she greets me with those three very special words... Were you fired?? 6:11 AM 26 Mar 2015 h 7893 1,143
  • 15
    Groom: For better or for worse... till death do us part Bride: And... Groom: *Sighs* And I vow to never stop you from adopting a dog mb marriagebliss.com
  • 16
    Rodney Lacroix @moooooog35 Follow Me: I spent HALF as much as YOU usually do on groceries. Wife: Congratulations. [2 hours later] Me: We have nothing to eat in this house. 5:12 PM 9 Jan 2016 184 354
  • 17
    When my husband says we're going to visit his family Hold on, let me just finsih this one thing. mb marriagebliss.com
  • 18
    Kent Graham @KentWGraham Follow I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house. 4:03 AM 21 Sep 2014 h £1,351 1,587
  • 19
    Happiness is not needing an alarm. for the next morning mb marriagebliss.com
  • 20
    Grant Tanaka @GrantTanaka Follow Wife: It's like every man on earth has to share one brain Me: [can't think of a good comeback because it's not my turn to use the brain] 1:06 AM 7 Mar 2016 h £2,022 3,627
  • 21
    Me texting back "I'm fine, wby?" two weeks later... mb marriagebliss.com
  • 22
    Follow keet @KeetPotato accountant: "youre basically broke" wife: "he keeps spending money on stupid stuff" me: "lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid" 4:44 PM 27 Oct 2015 h 5,015 8,206
  • 23
    When no one laughs at my dad joke but I know it was a banger mb marriagebliss.com *Wraps arms gently around self⭑*
  • 24
    KC of TX @kcmoore51 You pee too loud. - Marriage 8:06 AM 12 Feb 2016 Follow h 1,357 2,114
  • 25
    Mr. Peel @Rlpihl Follow i'll have the chicken finger platter & my lovely wife will have *hands over coupon something of equal or lesser value 6:47 PM 19 Nov 2015 h 884 2,030
  • 26
    Just Bill @WilliamAder Follow If my wife ever hired a private detective to follow me, it would be to get pictures of me not using the coupons I said I used. 10:19 PM 7 May 2016 h 1798 269
  • 27
    Pete Lynch @PJTLynch Wife: Wow, I'm tired ✔ Follow Me: Go relax, give me the recipe and I'll make dinner [Five minutes later] Me: Honey, I think we're out of..."oven"? 4:10 AM - 3 Nov 2013 7608 1,115
  • 28
    Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo Follow Marriage is just texting each other "Do we need anything from the grocery store?" a bunch of times until one of you dies. 8:24 PM 15 Jul 2015 h £72,599 4,573
  • 29
    Troy Johnson @_troyjohnson Follow Marriage is mostly about knowing which hand towels you can use and which ones are for the better people who visit your wife's home. 12:45 AM 29 May 2015 h 1,386 2,431
  • 30
    David Hughes @david8hughes [runs to the door to greet wife] Follow I'm afraid there's been a terrible accident involving all the things you asked me to do today. 5:38 AM - 28 Feb 2016 h 406 1,026
  • 31
    Zack @Mr_Kapowski Follow "I was just about to do that chore that I see you're starting now" - Marriage 3:21 AM 10 May 2016 361 591
  • 32
    Grant Tanaka @GrantTanaka Txt from wife: where r u Me:kitchen Wife:can u feed cat M: I mean garage W:bring in laundry M:bathroom W:clean toilet M: Idaho W:get potatos 9:40 PM - 16 Mar 2015 h 3,148 4,845 Follow
  • 33
    Kent Graham @KentWGraham Follow When I awoke from the car accident in a full bodycast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful. 1:36 PM - 24 May 2015 h 7955 1,169
  • 34
    Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Follow Relationship status: My wife asked me what I wanted for dinner and then told me I was wrong. 2:31 AM 22 Feb 2016 - h 939 2,818

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